Every Friday, I'm answering one real question from a real leader. No theory. No fluff. Just the stuff you're actually dealing with.

If you've got a question you'd like me to tackle, just hit reply. I read every one.

Nora, yes, say something. But you already knew the answer. It seems like you wrote in to get permission. So consider this your permission.

The check-in you're nervous about is the whole job. I've gotten this one wrong before.

Years ago I led a large team of 110 people spread across time zones.

One of my strongest team members started to go quiet.

Slower to respond. Doing the minimum. Present, but not really there.

I decided she'd checked out. Maybe even had one foot out the door.

I started building the performance case in my head.

Then I finally just asked her what was going on.

It wasn't the job. Her mother was sick. She'd been carrying it alone for weeks.

I'd spent a month imagining a story about her attitude. The real story was something I never would have guessed.

That's the real issue. As humans, we tend to fill the silence with our own worst assumptions. And this isn’t a recent trend.

There’s an old saying I researched back to the 1800s that goes like this: “We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their actions.”

And the research says those assumptions usually point the wrong way.

Gallup studied this exact pattern in its work on quiet quitting.

Half the US workforce falls into what they call "not engaged." Doing the job. Psychologically checked out.

The drivers they found were unmet needs. Unclear expectations. No room to grow. Not feeling cared about by a manager.

Fewer than 4 in 10 young remote and hybrid employees even know clearly what's expected of them.

Gallup's own conclusion is blunt. Quiet quitting is a symptom of management.

That's good news for you, Nora. Most of what pulls someone under is stuff a manager can actually reach.

1. Drop the verdict before you talk.

Walk in having decided you don't know why yet.

The goal of the first conversation is to learn, not to correct.

2. Reach out privately. Lead with care.

Try something like: "I've noticed you've seemed a little quieter lately. No agenda here. I just wanted to check in. How are you really doing?"

Then stop talking. Let the pause do the work.

Most people rush to fill silence. Don't. That's where the real answer lives.

3. Ask about the work, not just the mood.

Is it still clear what you expect of her right now?

Does she have room to grow, or has she stalled?

Those are the exact gaps Gallup tied to people checking out. You can close every one of them.

4. Make the check-in a habit, not a rescue mission.

Gallup's clearest finding: the best thing a manager can do is one real conversation a week with each person. 15 to 30 minutes.

One dramatic heart-to-heart won't undo weeks of drift. A steady rhythm will.

5. Fix what's yours to fix.

Maybe it's constant camera pressure. Maybe it's a workload nobody has acknowledged out loud.

Give her a reason to come back. Then get out of the way.

Send her a message before you log off.

Skip "we need to talk." That spikes everyone's blood pressure.

Try: "Free for a quick coffee chat tomorrow? No agenda, just want to catch up."

Then show up curious. Listen more than you speak.

You're not reading too much into it, Nora.

You noticed. That alone makes you the kind of boss worth staying for.

Until next time, keep being brilliant, 

Justin

P.S. Any fun vacation plans this summer? I can’t wait to get out of the Phoenix heat wave. Hit reply and tell me where you’re going or where you’ve been.