If you’re new here, welcome! Every week, we unpack leadership, mindset, and personal growth into something real and doable. Expect research-backed insights, a little storytelling, and practical ideas that actually fit into your life (even the messy parts).

I spent three months trying to fix Lisa.

That's not her real name, but the situation was real enough.

She was on my team, underperforming, and I was convinced I could turn it around.

I scheduled extra check-ins.
I revised our processes.
I sent motivational articles at 11 PM (yes, really).

I crafted the perfect feedback sandwich. I even bought her coffee and asked about her weekend goals.

You know what changed? Nothing.

Well, that's not entirely true.
I got exhausted.
My sleep got worse.
I started resenting her for not responding to my heroic efforts.

The truth is, I was trying to control someone else's performance, someone else's attitude, someone else's entire approach to work.
And you can't do that. You just can't.

In fact, there's not much in life you can control. We try all the time.

You can't control other people.
You can't control circumstances.
Or most outcomes.

That feels powerless, I know. We're leaders. We're supposed to make things happen.

Except we often focus on the wrong things.

Other people's opinions.
Other people's emotions.
Other people's motivations.

When in reality, everything we can (actually) control is internal to us.

But, there are 22 things you can always control.

I'm still working on some of them. Number 21, for example (your inner critic—mine is relentless). But I've gotten pretty good at others.

1. Your attitude: I do a quick check every morning. Am I bringing cynicism or possibility to today? It's a choice.

2. Your courage: Last month I faced a fear I'd been avoiding for 6 months. Had the conversation I was dreading. It went better than the story I'd been telling myself.

3. Your kindness: Yesterday someone on my team made a mistake that almost lost us a client. I controlled my words. I was firm about the standard and kind about the human.

4. Your boundaries: This is the big one for me now. I say no to things that don't align with my priorities. It still feels uncomfortable every time, but I do it anyway.

5. Your mindset: I catch myself thinking “I can’t do this” and flip it to “I haven't figured this out yet.” Small shift in words. Massive shift in what becomes possible.

6. Your gratitude: I'm writing this on a laptop in a warm room with decent coffee. I have work I care about and people who care about me. When I zoom out, even on hard days, there's a lot there.

The list goes on…

7. Your integrity
8. Your influence
9. Your actions
10. Your effort
11. Your circle
12. Your self-belief
13. Your excuses (kill them)
14. Your goals
15. Your focus
16. Your limits (break them)
17. Your time
18. Your words
19. Your self-care
20. Your silence (or when you speak up)
21. Your inner critic (put it in its place)
22. Your purpose

That's 22 things. Maybe it seems small compared to everything you wish you could control.

The economy. Your boss's mood. Whether clients say yes. How your kids turn out. If people like you. What happened in the past. What might happen in the future.

But mastering these 22 things? That's not small at all. That's everything.

I wrote a viral LinkedIn post on this topic. Here's the infographic:

Your power starts and ends with you.
Not in a limiting way.
In a liberating way.

You're not responsible for things outside your control.
You're not failing when other people make different choices.
You're not powerless when circumstances shift.

You're powerful exactly where it matters—in the space between what happens to you and how you respond.
That space is yours. Nobody can take it from you. Nobody else can fill it for you.

I still catch myself trying to control outcomes sometimes. Old habits.

But now when I notice it, I ask myself: what here can I actually control? And I redirect that energy inward.
To my attitude.
My actions.
My boundaries.
My words.
My breathing.

Don't let life happen to you. Happen to life.

But not by trying to control everything around you. By mastering everything within you.

So here's my question for you: what's one thing you've been trying to control this week that you actually can't?

What would change if you redirected that energy to something on this list of 22 instead?

Pick one.
Master it.
Then pick another.

That's how you stop surviving and start conquering.

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Until next time, stay brilliant,
Justin