Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young.
Hi friends! 👋
Every Friday, I'm answering one real question from a real leader. No theory. No fluff. Just the stuff you're actually dealing with.
If you've got a question you'd like me to tackle, just hit reply. I read every one.
This week’s question comes from Stephen:
In 2021 my company was acquired and I got the best manager I've ever had. In our first meeting he asked me "how do you want to be managed?" He knew I understood my job better than he did, and he let me get on with it. Last June, with no warning, my colleague and I were told we'd no longer report to him. Now I report to a managing director whose background is operations and who doesn't understand sales. In 6 weeks I turn 62. I ask myself the same question every single day. Do I stay or do I go?
Stephen, what got taken from you last June was bigger than a reporting line.
You lost autonomy. Trust. A manager who assumed you knew your job better than he did.
Don't rush past that. It was a real loss.
Then get to the harder question:
Do you stay or do you go, at 62?
My dad is 78. He turns 79 next month.
He's still a practicing attorney in high demand.
I don't think he'll ever fully retire.
Not because he has to keep working. He loves it. He's good at it.
Every time slowing down comes up, the same question is underneath it. If he stopped practicing law, how would he fill his days?
SHRM asked people working past 67 why they keep going. The top answer was staying mentally active and engaged, at 70%. Financial stability came second, at 59%. Half said they were avoiding boredom or a lack of purpose.
My dad's answer, almost word for word.
I've offered him other options over the years.
He could consult.
He could coach or mentor.
He could write books.
All of it would let him keep using everything he's learned, without the daily stress of practicing law.
He's not interested.
Every one of those would mean learning a whole new way of working. He'd rather keep getting better at the one he knows.
He likes what he already does. He sees growth there.
You have more than 2 options
I can't make this call for you, Stephen.
But I can suggest a better way to make it.
Forget stay or go for a minute. The real question is whether you can still grow where you are.
Stay or go feels like a coin flip. It's actually 4 doors.
Mayo Clinic teaches a version of this for stress. The 4 A's. Alter. Adapt. Accept. Avoid.
2 of them change the situation. 2 of them change you.
Walk through them in order.
1. Alter. Can the situation be changed?
Start here. It’s the cheapest door to try.
Your new manager may never understand sales, but he can learn to understand you.
Write 3 or 4 sentences on how you work best. Send them to him. "This is what I need to be effective. This is what I'll bring you every week."
Your old manager asked that question. Volunteer the answer to this one.
Give it 90 days. If he takes it, you've got most of what you lost back.
2. Adapt. Can you change how you see it?
Some things about the new structure will never change. Ask whether they matter as much as they feel like they do right now.
Write down the 3 things you'd need for staying to be worth it. Autonomy over your pipeline. A manager who asks before he directs. Whatever yours are.
Now you're measuring something instead of carrying a feeling around all day.
3. Accept. Is this good enough as it is?
This is a real answer. My dad chose it.
The same profession, same daily stress, at 78. Because the work still motivates him.
If your 3 conditions are mostly met and the work still pulls you, staying is a decision.
4. Avoid. Is it time to leave?
If the first 3 doors are closed after 90 days, this one is open. And you can walk through it at 62.
The bias is real. Field experiments have found 50-year-olds with identical qualifications get fewer callbacks than younger applicants. SHRM found 93% of employers run no recruitment aimed at your age group.
So skip the cold applications and go through your network.
Reconnect with 3 people who know your work. No pitch, just conversations.
The OECD found only 6% of 45-64 year-olds change jobs in a given year, against 17% of under-30s.
Most people your age stop looking. Looking is your advantage.
40 years of sales relationships beats any up-and-comer's resume.
Try this today
Mark a date 90 days out. Put it on your calendar to count how many of your 3 conditions are true by then.
If most of them are, staying is your decision. Own it.
If they aren't, you have 40 years of proof you can do this somewhere else.
You can start over at 62, Stephen. You just don't have to.
That's a good place to be.
Until next time, keep being brilliant,
Justin
P.S. What's the last thing you cooked that actually turned out well? Hit reply, I'm curious.
